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Writer's pictureLisa Powell

Rambling On, The grocery store.


The grocery store,

Okay so we head out for the grocery store. You grab your list, purse and phone. You look around make sure everything is off. Your car is running (husband waiting for me.) Close the door it’s locked. Hurry up get in the car and you’re off. You rattle off what you have to do, Bank, Meijer, Kroger, lottery tickets and tobacco store.

So you get everything done, except the grocery store, it’s always last. People are crazy in parking lots! Don’t they know how to drive in them or what!!! So you find your spot and park. You go through 4 shopping carts and finally find one that all the wheels work properly and not pulling one way or another. You grab your list and start shopping.

You go down an aisle pick up what you need, you continue on when Bamm!! Two people are stopped, in the middle, blocking your path. Each one going in a different direction. They are chatting up a storm talking about God knows what. You say ‘Excuse me.’ They give you the evil eye like ‘how dare you interrupt us.’ You’re like ‘exchange numbers and move on. It’s a grocery store not a speaking convention.’ They stand there you look behind you and more people are coming so you can’t turn around. They finally move with, ‘I’ll call you or nice seeing you again.’ If you want to chat in a grocery store move over so people can go by! What’s so difficult about that?

So you continue on your journey. You are checking off items as you’re picking them up. Just like a parking lot people are doing 100 and don’t look and almost crash into you. There are intersections people! Most of them blind spots. If you can’t see what is coming down the other aisle, proceed with caution!! There could be a kid that is crossing your path and wham! You just hit them! COMMONSENSE!

Now you go to grab your’s last item, go figure top shelf way in the back. What the hell!! Why do they need 7 ft. shelves anyway? How is a 5 ft person supposed to reach that? Where in the heck is the stock person? So you step on the bottom shelf and stretch as far as you can trying to get your item. Think anyone will help? Only when my husband is with me are these items easy to get, for him. I should start taking those pincher, grabbers things with me. Finally you’re done shopping and time for check out. At Kroger’s, where I am, it usually goes smoothly. But the baggers need some work. They place all heavy items in one bag and they hardly ever double bag. Those bags break! When you have glass items I want double bagged! If you say something they act like it’s to much trouble. If you bring your own bags! Nightmare! They try and stuff everything heavy in one bag even if you bring more. I am not She-Ra!

Okay so you’re checked out and you load everything into your car. BACKING OUT! PEOPLE: We can’t see when there are two vehicles on each side of us! You start backing out slowly drivers and people can see you are moving, trying to back out. Do you think they will stop and wait? NO! it’s like ‘Hit me. I want to sue.’ And if you don’t see them, they blown their horn and give you dirty looks, but yet they saw you long before you saw them! You feel like you have to get out of your, stop traffic and guide the driver out, just like traffic control. All to back out of a parking spot.

Finally you make it home. Carry everything in and put stuff away. Then you realize you forgot what you went to the store for in the first place. Damn it!

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